


With You

by chapstickandweed



Category: Jack Gilinsky - Fandom, Jack Johnson - Fandom, Magcon (Video Blogging RPF), Sam Wilkinson, Youtubers
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety Attacks, Canon Gay Relationship, Character Death, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Hate to Love, Lab Partners, Love/Hate, Male-Female Friendship, Murder, Smut, Underage Drinking, Underage Smoking, Work Contains Fan(s) or Fandom(s), bad boy, fan fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-04
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-16 06:03:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3477230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chapstickandweed/pseuds/chapstickandweed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a fateful tragedy, 17 year old Alaska Rivera is sent to live with her Aunt in Oaksmont, Colorado. Alaska, still trying to overcome the tragedies from months before, meets Jack. Jack is the complete opposite of Alaska. He's rude, arrogant, and treats other people poorly. While Alaska is nice and kind, she doesn't connect with people well. When they are forced to be lab partners, Alaska and Jack become the unlikeliest of friends and help each other through the hardships no one knew they had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home

I always loved the rain. I loved how it was so pure. I loved how the soft pitter-patter of rain against the roof and windows could deliver me to the most blissful sleep. I loved how it looked after a rainstorm, like the word was cleansed. I loved how rain always brought the promise of a rainbow. No matter how long the rain came down there would always be a rainbow to take the clouds place in the sky. I loved how it can be so sunny outside and just like that...it was raining. Everything could change in an instant. Nobody controls the rain. Its just a natural cycle of life. It follows its own path. But now, everything was different. I resented the rain because it only made me sad. It only reminded me how I wasn't in control.

And here I sat. One a plane, with a paper, from the courts, in my lap determining my fate like I was some sort of object. My head rested against the window as I felt a tear slip out of my eye. I hated how others could make choices for me. I hated how I could not step forward and voice my opnion because no one cared.

_"Alaska?" Mr. Mahoney, my lawyer, said standing in my doorway, "We called your Aunt Samantha. Your plane leaves at 4. You need to be ready before that."_

_I nodded and went back to staring out the window. Mr. Mahoney was very nice despite what he had to make me do. He was tall, and slender and had dark skin. His mustache curled around his lip and ended at his chin._

_"Alaska..." Mr. Mahoney started to say, "I'm sorry it has to be like this. I know you're going through a hard time, but you're still a kid. You need someone to look after you."_

_"I can make my own decisions," I whispered, wiping a tear from my cheek._

_"I know you can. I'm not just here as a lawyer. I'm here as your friend, and if you want to talk..."_

_"No," I interupted him._

_"I understand," He said looking at the floor, "But this is for the best. Your Aunt will take care of you. I know you can take care of yourself. You're strong. But we all need someone...somtimes. Don't have such a negative outlook on it, alright? Colorado could be a lot better than you think."_

_Mr. Mahoney was a close friend of my parents before everything spiraled out of control. I wanted to believe him, but more than anything I wanted to forget what happened in the last few months. It wasn't that I had to move to Colorado, it was what I had to leave behind._

_"The plane leaves at 4. Be ready. I'll be downstairs," Mr. Mahoney said, and I could her his footsteps echoing down the stairs._

_I stood up and started to pack the rest of my clothes in my suitcase. I didn't have very many clothes. I felt more comfortable with_ _simple things. I admired people who had the courage to get dolled up with flawless eyeliner and flowing skirts, and didn't care what people would say. When I finished folding my clothes, I moved onto the rest of my room packing up little things that would be sent to my Aunts house later in the week._

_"Are you almost ready?" Mr. Mahoney asked. I nodded, "I'm ready now."_

_He grabbed my suitcases and carried them down the stairs. I slowly followed after him and sighed when I reached the stairs. I turned and I saw that my brothers door was opened slightly. I felt a rush of fear and anxiety rush through me. I found myself standing right in front of his door. It took every ounce of strength I had to push open the door, because I was not ready for what was on the other side. I took a deep breath and stepped inside. I could feel a lump forming in my throat, because I had not been in my brothers room for almost two years. My parents forbade me to come in. My fingers brushed across his dresser and the dust that had gathered there. His room was small, and dark. He didn't have very many things. The curtains were drawn, but it was light enough that I could make out what was in the room. I stopped in my tracks when I saw the picture lying on his dresser of our family. Joseph was 10, and I was 4. We were at Disneyland and I had a ridiculous Pink Mickey Mouse hat that was falling off my small head. My fingers lingered on the picture for a moment. I could feel tears slipping down my face and I didn't know if I could handle it. How could they all leave me behind? I missed Joseph. I missed my parents. I missed who I was when I was with them._

_"Alaska?" Mr. Mahoney said, startling me, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. The cars waiting. It's time to go"_

_"I just need a minute," I said softly. I took the picture out of the frame and tucked it in my jacket pocket. I turned to leave and I glanced at the closet. I slowly made my way towards the doors and opened them quietly. I removed one of his shirts and tucked it in my carry-on bag. I couldn't leave Joseph behind. I walked down the stairs and out the front door wondering if I would ever feel at home again._

"Miss?" The flight attendant shook me from my thoughts, "The plane has landed. Its time to go."

I nodded and grabbed my suitcase. I walked out into the airport and held on tighter to my jacket. I had no idea where I was supposed to go. I could feel the anxiety pooling in my stomach. I pulled my suticase with me, and sat down in the chairs as I waited. I put in my earphones and sat silently. I watched as people came and boarded planes, and I watched as people ran trying not to miss their flight. I watched everyone and I thought how small I was compared to all the people in the world. I thought about my story and how everyone here has their own story, that I would never ever hear. I could feel my eyes tiring and I listened to my music until I feel asleep.

Someone nudged me and my eyes flew open. I saw a short, blonde woman standing in front of me.

"Sorry...I didn't mean to scare you. I'm your Aunt Samantha. You probably don't remember me."

"Hi," I said, standing up, "I'm Alaska."

"I've heard a lot about you. It's really good to see you. You're all grown up!" She smiled.

"Thank you," I said as we walked together, "No offense or anything, but you don't look very old."

Samantha laughed, "Thank you! Actually, I'm actually 27. I'm still going to college."

"What are you majoring in?" I asked. We had gotten to the car and she put my suitcase in the trunk and I got in the passenger side.

"Eduacation. I'm in intern for Special Ed kids at the elementary school right now. I just have a little bit of school left and then I can be an official teacher.

"Wow. Thats awesome," I said trying my best to stay interested in the conversation.

"We're awhile from Oaksmont, so sit tight, okay? I'm sure you're exhausted from the flight but we'll be home..." She paused when she saw me look down, "There...soon."

I looked out the window and saw green mountains surrounding us like we were trapped in a fish bowl and couldn't get out.

"I'm sorry," She said glancing at me, "It just slipped."

"No, its okay, really. I don't mind."

She pulled over to the side of the road and turned off the engine, "Listen," She said turning to me, "I know you're not crazy about being here. Believe me when I got the call that I was going to be your legal gaurdian I thought What the hell!? I'm not a family type of person really. Thats why I never came to visit. I enjoy solidarity and I used to travel a lot, but I finally decided to settle here. This is my home. I know you've been through a lot, but please don't take it out on me it's not my fault. Keep in mind that when you lost your family, I lost my sister, and my brother-in-law, and...my nephew. You're not alone, okay?"

"Thank you, Samantha," I said tearing up.

"I want this to work, kid. I don't want you to be alone," She confessed. I nodded and she started to car back up.

\--

2 months later

I settled in to Samanthas house faster than I thought I would. My belongings were sent to here and I set up my room how I liked. Samantha and I got along really well. She showed me around Oaksmont. It was a very small town with hot summers and cold, snowy winters. Every store here was locally owned which meant no chain stores. (Mcdonalds, Ihop, Rude 21, Walmart, etc,.) Everyone here seemed really nice. The high school, middle school, and elementary were all built into one. There was nothing spectacular about the town, but nothing bad about it either. I was doing fine, I was adjusting really well given the situation, but sometimes, when Sam went to sleep I would sneak out of bed and put on my brothers shirt and cry myself to sleep on the bathroom floor. Sam either doesn't notice, or doesn't want to embarrass me by asking about it. I hope she remains oblivious.

"Good morning," Samantha said as I came downstairs, "Theres fresh coffee in the kitchen."

"Thank you," I said grabbing a cup and sighing in delight as the hot liquid ran down my throat.

"So," Samantha started, "School starts today. If you're up for it? You're already resgistered, and everything. I will be there too, I mean if you're scared. It'll be fun....but I understand if its too soon."

"No," I said shaking my head, "I'm fine. I can't - I can't keep hiding for the rest of my life. I mean - I-I came here to make a fresh start and thats what I'm going to do."

Samantha smiled, "I'm proud of you."

\--

I stood in front of my new school, filled with anxiety. Samantha had dropped me off a few minutes ago, to go to the elementary school side, but I was too afraid to go inside. I started walking slowly towards the school doors so people wouldn't think I was stupid just standing there all alone. I took a deep breath and walked inside. The halls were loud and busy with students laughing and getting ready for the day. I walked to the office, and waited for the secretary to finish on the phone.

"Can I help you?" She asked sweetly, I glanced down at ther desk and her nametag said 'Mrs. Reed'.

"Hi, um...Mrs Reed? I'm - I'm new here. My name is Alaska. I - uh...I need my schedule," I mentally slapped myself for taking so long to spit out my words. I hated my stutter, and it got even worse when I was under pressure.

"Oh, of course dear! I can print it out for you right now whats your last name?"

"Rivera. Alaska Rivera. I'm a senior."

She typed into her computer and I could hear the printing start going, "Alrighty dear. Here is your schedule. You have four classes a day. We have A days and B days. Today is an A day so you start with homeroom for 15 minutes while you listen to the announcements, then you go to Mr. Boggs for Chemistry. Easy enough, right?"

I chuckled nervously, "Yeah, um...Thank you." She quickly assured me it was fine and I heard the bell ring for homeroom. I glanced down at my schedule and I collided into someone in front of me, making my papers scatter across the floor.

"S-sorry, I -"

"Watch where you're going, sweet heart." The dark-haired boy said rudely and walked away. I gulped and picked up my papers from the ground.

"Hey, are you okay?" I heard a voice say. I looked up and saw a pretty blond girl with a red dress on.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine,"

"Are you new here? I've never seen you before," She asked.

"Uh - yeah. I'm Alaska."

"Thats a pretty name," She smiled, "I'm Tova. You better hurry and get to class so you're not late."

"Right," I said mentally slapping myself, "Thanks, Tova."

"We probably have homeroom together there's only two different classes. Do you have Mr. Truman?"

I sighed in relief when my paper matched hers.

"Cool. We can walk together. C'mon."

"Where'd you move from?" She asked.

"California,"

"Oh, Ive always wanted to go there! That's a pretty big change, though. Why'd you move?"

I smiled and shrugged, not wanting to give her the real reason. I can't scare away my first chance at a friend! "I wanted to come live with my Aunt."

She nodded and went on talking about how she hated this town and couldn't wait to get out.

We hurried to our homeroom class and I slid in a seat just as the second bell rang.

"Welcome back class. I'm sure you all had a wonderful summer. Now I know its only the first day of school, but you need to start getting serious. Its your senior year. Everyday counts. I'm going to call roll, and then we'll listen to the announcments."

Tova leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "Mr. Truman hates us. Just watch he gets so angry, It's hilarious."

"Thomas?" He called, "Here," someone in the back answered. And so on, "Alaska?" He called, "Here," I answered.

"And of course, Jacks not here. Has anyone seen him today?" A few people answered with "yes" and "no", but Mr. Truman just rolled his eyes and threw the roll paper on the desk and it fell onto the floor. He groaned...rather loudly, and rubbed his forehead. I could tell he didn't enjoy school very much like Tova said.

"You. You in the front row," He said and I couldn't tell if he was talking to me.

"Me?" I asked.

"Yes, you! Pick up those papers, please, now." I stood up and picked up the papers and I heard a few people laughing behind me.I finished picking them up, and handed the papers to him and I slid further into my seat and ignored the announcments.

"Don't worry," Tova whispered, "He's rude to everyone."

The door opened halfway through and I recognized him as the boy I bumped into in the hallway.

"That's the boy I bumped into in the hallway." I whispered.

"Ew. Stay away from him. I know he's hot, but he's a dick, trust me," Tova whispered back.

Mr. Truman rolled his eyes, "Mr. Gilinsky, if you can't get here on time, don't come at all."

The boy laughed and sat down a few seats from me. "Love you too, Mr. Truman!"

The students laughed and the teacher made them quiet down. He passed out a paper for all of us to quiz us to see if we were lsitening to the principal.

"Gilisnky, all four chair legs on the floor, please," Mr. Truman sighed. The boy laughed but kept leaning back in his chair.

"Careful, Jack don't want to fall and make your head bigger than it already is," Tova fake pouted.

"Cmon sweetheart like we all don't know what you did all summer. Getting a boob job?" Jack smirked, "You can totally tell."

"As if! Boob job or not you're just mad I won't let you anywhere near me. At least I didn't spend my summer lost on the sewers. It would explain the smell!" Tova smiled back at him and Jack rolled his eyes.

As the teacher called out the question for the quiz I watched as the boy, Jack, completely ignored Mr. Truman and ripped his paper into pieces. He crumbled up his paper and threw it towards the trash can.

"Mr. Gilinsky!" The teacher yelled as he picked up the quizez, "How many times do I have to-"

The bell rang cutting him off, and he sighed and threw the papers on the ground. I laughed a little because it was obvious Mr. Truman hated this job. I wondered why he didn't just quit.

"Do you find something funny?" Jack asked me, looking at me funny like I was some sort fo specimen.

"Uh - no...Sorry."

"Yeah that's what I thought sweet heart," Jack winked at me, and I scolded myself for being so stupid.

"Told ya he was a dick. Anyways I have to go to English. We have second period together so I'll see you then!" Tova said walking out of the class

I gathered my things and tried to sort through them as I walked through the crowded hallway. As I turned the corner I hit something hard and I groaned loudly.

"Whoa! Watch out, sweet heart," I rolled my eyes when I looked up to find the boy from homeroom.

"Ugh stop calling me that!" I groaned, and reached down to grab my stuff but Jack picked up my papers before I could and held them out of reach.

"Are you serious? Give them back!"

"Not until you ask nicely," He smirked.

"What are you five? Just give them back." I scoffed.

He laughed and opened my binder looking through my papers.

"Oh, Alaska! Thats a hot name. Sounds like a stripper," He laughed at his own lame jokes.

"Seriously? Just give it back you're not funny,"

He stopped smiling and dropped my papers on the floor, "Are you kidding me? You couldn't just hand them to me?"

He smiled innocently and I rolled my eyes for the thousandth time.

I picked up my stuff and walked quickly away from him to find my next class which was Biology. I struggled to find it, and walked in a few seconds after the second bell.

"Josh?" Mr. Boggs said, "Here," the boy replied. "J -" He stopped when he saw me.

"Are you in this class?"

"Y-yeah. S-sorry I'm late. I-I couldn't find it," I stuttered.

"Ah yes, you must be new. Whats your name?"

"A-Alaska Rivera," I told him.

"Take a seat in the back, next to Gilinsky."

I rolled my eyes. Are you kidding me? He just had to be the only one with an empty seat next to him. He probably had no friends. I hated that this town was so small. God, he's smart enough for chemistry? I scoffed and walked to the back and sat down on the empty stool.

Jack blew a bubble, as he typed something on his phone, "Hey A-A-Alask-ka," He said making fun of my slight stutter. I rolled my eyes and out my bag on my lap. Could this day get any worse?

"Welcome to class everyone. The seats you're sitting in will be permanent for the rest of the year. Yay!" He said, with a hint of sarcasm, lightly clapping his hands. Are you kidding me?! I groaned, "Oh and welcome to Oaksmont High, Ms. Rivera! It'll be a great year."

"I guess I'm stuck with you for the rest of the year," Jack sighed.

"Yeah, I guess you are."


	2. Sentir (To feel)

"Alaska. Honey, it's time to wake up," My mom said, opening the blinds in my bedroom.

"Mom!" I groaned, pulling the covers over my face.

"C'mon, wake up sleepyhead. It's a new day," My mom said pulling the covers back down.

I laughed and she brushed a piece of hair behind my ear. I could smell breakfast being made downstairs. Bacon and Eggs were my absolute favorite. I could eat them all day.

"C'mon, get ready so you can have breakfast before school," My mom said getting up.

"Do I have to go today?" I groaned.

"I would let you stay home, but dad and I are working today...on a very...special case," My mom said, and I could tell she seemed tense. My eyes narrowed but I didn't want to press her on it.

"Okay, " I sighed, "Just be careful,."

"Of course, dear," My mom said kissing my forehead, "Always."

I smiled as she retreated back downstairs. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail and got ready for the day.

"Alaska...Alaska...Alaska!" I heard and my eyes flew open.

"Sorry," Sam said, "I just didn't want you to be late to school."

"Its okay," I laughed lightly, "thank you."

I smiled back at her and groaned before getting up. I heard her walking downstairs and the faint smell of Bacon and Eggs filled my nostrils and I remembered that morning. I shook my head of the sad thoughts and got in the shower.

"Hey, uh - I made Bacon and Eggs. I know thats your favorite," Sam smiled as I walked downstairs, feeling fresh from my shower.

I smiled nervously as I tried not to think about who told her that was my favorite.

"I screwed up, didn't I?" She sighed, "Shit, you know I even called Mr. Mahoney and I asked what you liked and he told me that you loved Bacon. Shit. You know I'm sorry just forget I even-"

"Samanatha! I said, stoppping her from her monolouge, "I love it, thank you. It just brings back memories...I know that sounds stupid but..."

"Its not stupid, Alaska," She said softly.

I set down my bag I was holding and I walked over and hugged Samantha. She was very petite and I could smell her coconut shampoo. Hugging her was different from hugging my parents, but I still felt a warmth flow through. I felt safe.

"You don't have to act like you're walking on broken glass around me, y'know. I'm fine, Samantha, and I know you're doing the best you can. I am too," I whispered and I felt her tears on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Alaska," She smiled, pulling away from the hug, "So would you like some Bacon and Eggs?"

"Yes, please!" I laughed, and Sam made me a plate.

Sam and I made small talk for the rest of breakfast and we got in the car to go to school. Sam parked and we walked together to the sidewalk.

"Hey Ace!" I heard someone yell, and I rolled my eyes and pulled Sam away when I saw the annoying yelling came from Jack. He smirked and Sam and I kept walking into the building.

"Who was that?" Samantha whispered.

"No one. He's annoying,"

"Thats not no one! He's cute, and he had a nickname for you," Sam giggled.

"Yeah, only because he doesn't care enough to remember my name," I said and Sam laughed.

"Hey, Alaska!" Tova said as she approached me and my aunt.

"Hey, Tova!" I greeted her, "Tova, this is my Aunt Samantha, and Samantha, this is my friend Tova."

"Nice to meet you," My aunt smiled at her.

"Hey, wait I know you! You work in the Elementary wing! You're Ms. Peters, right?"

"Right," Samantha laughed, "I should probably head down there now. Nice meeting you," My Aunt said, walking away leaving Tova and I alone.

The bell rang and I groaned when I remembered I had to see Jack. It had been a week since the first day of school, and mostly he just ignored me. Except for when he threw wads of paper at me in English. Out of my 8 classes he was in 5 of them not including homeroom, and he was just as rude as Tova said he was. We both made it to homeroom on time and slid into our seats right as the bell rang. 

Mr. Truman welcomed us to class and he seemed just as melancholy and depressed as he usually is. Everyone was suprised to see that Jack was on time today including Mr. Truman.

"Alright, I have to call roll everyone shut up...please," The teacher said.

Right as Mr. Truman cleared his throat to start someone knocked at the door, interupting him. A tall brunette woman was standing at the door. Tova whispered to me and told me that the woman was the Principal, Mrs. McKinley.

"I need you in my office immediately, Mr. Truman."

"Perfect!" Mr. T with a fake smile, "be right there." He set his papers down and sighed, rubbing his forehead.

"Aw, whats wrong, Mr. T?" Jack asked in a mocking tone.

Mr. Truman rolled his eyes, "You know what? Everyone just sit down and shut up. Gilinsky take roll, please. I'll be right back,"

"I won't let you down, Sir!" Jack said saluting Mr T.

"Yeah, whatever," The older man said walking out of the classroom.

Jack hopped up and shut the door. He sat down on Mr. T's chair and rested his feet on the desk.

"Alright, everyone sit down and shut up, please. I'm very depressed today, my goldfish died," Jack said, doing a mock impression of Mr. Truman. A few kids laughed and Tova and I rolled our eyes.

"Alright, lets call roll, shall we?" Jack smiled, and started calling off names, "And here we have Ah-lesska? What kind of name is that?" Jack mocked my name, and kids in the back of the room laughed, "Ah! Alaska. Alaska are you here?"

"Here," I said rolling my eyes.

Jack put his hands on his hips and started walking across the front row, "Now where is she?" he said. Are you serious? Was he really going to pretend I wasn't here? "Has anyone seen Alaska? Ace! Where are you?"

Multiple laughs were heard from through out the room and I scoffed, "Seriously, Jack?" Tova asked.

"I'm very concerned, Tova. Missing school is very serious," Jack said in a fake serious tone.

"C'mon Jack how old are we?" I said and he ignored me.

"Well, I guess she isn't here. Thats a shame. Her first absent for the whole year," Jack pouted. I rolled my eyes and decided just to ignore him. Jack looked right at me and winked. As his gaze set on mine I could feel my insides twisting. I looked down, and he must have noticed I was uncomfortable because he smirked. He read something on the piece of paper and he looked up at me again, but this time he wasn't smiling. He looked at me with concern. I flushed and looked back at him hoping what ever was on that paper he wouldn't say out loud. Jack just shook his head and finished calling roll while mocking Mr. T.

The bell rang and I grabbed my stuff and walked out as soon as I could.

"Hey, wait!" Tova said, catchinp up with me, "what was that about?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you and Jack basically eye-fucking each other in front of the whole class," She laughed and I flushed, "is there something going on between you two that I don't know about?"

I scoffed, "Are you kidding? You're crazy,"

Tova laughed, "Good, you do not want to get caught in his web."

Tova and I said our goodbyes and I walked quickly to English. I sat down in a seat and the bell rang and Jack came in, late, as usual. He sat across the room from me, but everytime I looked up Jack would be staring right at me. I flushed and I could feel heat rising to my cheeks. I couldn't match his gaze, but there was something about the way he was looking at me like he was expecting me to jump up and do something crazy.

"Alright, for the writing assignment you need to pick partners," the teacher said, and my insides churned as I saw Jack get up and walk right to me. He was smiling and my cheeks felt hot. Right at the last second he turned to the girl next to me and asked if she wanted to be partners with him. My cheeks were even hotter now, because I was embarassed. How could I even possibly think for a minute that he actually liked me? He was such a dick. I tried to hide my embarassment and as the whole class found a partner and I was left without one.

"Alright, for the assingment I want you to write a paper on the happiest day of your life. It could be anything, just make it meaningful. You have twenty minutes to write and when you're done have your partner read it to spell check and to make sure its fit to the criterea. Don't put your name on it. When we're done I'll pass them out to the class and we'll vote on the best one and I will read the winner. Uh - Alaska," He said approaching me, "I'm sure you can do this alone. I read some of your writing from last week and it was great. Is that alright?"

I nodded, and smiled, walking back to his desk, "Alright, everyone. Get to work!

I pulled out a piece of paper and sat in front of it not knowing what to write. The happiest day of my life? I knew what the happiest day of my life was as soon as he gave the assignment, but the longer I sat here the more I tried to force myself out of it. I started to write and I couldn't stop. The words kept flowing out of me and I was overwhelmed as I relived that day through out my head.

"Okay! Pencils down. I wasn't watching the time so we can't read them but next period is Part 2 of this project so come prepared to critque and write!" The bell rang and we all got up to leave for our next class.

"Hey Ace! Wait up!" I heard Jacks annoying voice, and I kept walking, "so what'd you write about?"

I rolled my eyes, "Why do you care?"

"Was it the day you met me?" He smirked.

"Do you have short term memory? We met when you bumped into me and yelled at me. It was more like the worst day of my life, cause now you won't leave me alone."

"Ouch! Ace, that was harsh," He laughed.

"Why do you keep calling me that anyway? Do you even know my name?"

"Of course I do. I just like Ace better,"

"Why?" I asked trying to maneuvear through the hall to get to my next class.

"Because I thought of it," He answered and I scoffed.

"Why did you look at me weird in homeroom?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You were smiling...and then you just looked at me funny. Why?"

"Oh," He said rubbing the back of his neck, "That? That was nothing. Nothing for you to worry about. Maybe you're just nice to look at. Why do you want to know?"

I flushed, "None of your business."

"Right," He laughed.

"Okay. So what did you write about?" I turned to face him.

"Now, that, Ace," He said tucking a piece of hair behind my ear and my stomach churned with anxiety. He leaned closer to me until our lips were almost touching, "Is none of your business."

My brain caught up with my body and I scoffed pushing him away

"You're disgusting," I said and he walked away and laughed all the down the hall. I shook off the uneasy feeling I felt in the pit of stomach and sat down in French 3. Madame Brown was teaching us verbs. I tried my hardest to pay attention but my thoughts kept drifting off to Jack and the way he looked at me. I shook my head of the thoughts and concentrated harder on the lesson. The verb we learned today was Sentir. The verb to feel.

Je sens. Tu sens. Il sent. Nous senton. Vous sentez. Ils sentent. I feel. You feel. He/She feels. We feel. You feel. They feel.

The uneasy feeling in my stomach was still present, and I couldn't explain it. What did I feel?


	3. The Birthday

 My alarm went off at 6:30 and I got up quickly, and took a shower. I was still a little hung-over from partying with Tova. We had just come back from a long weekend. Tova came over and we hung out with our friends Camila and Lauren and watched movies and danced until we were too tired to move. Tova had a pool at her house and so we swam there for awhile yesterday. They were interesting. They were smart, funny and popular. Hanging out with them made me have a lot more friends. I've never been very good at making friends, but this school brought out confidence in me I didn't know I had. For once, I was actually excited to go to school. No one looked at me with pity like they did at my last school because I was a mystery. I was the shiny new toy everyone wanted to play with and I loved it.

 

"Alaska," My  aunt called as I was getting dressed, "Are you up?"

 

"Yes!" I answered back. I was nervously tugging my black dress down trying to make it longer. I never wore dresses and I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I bought this.

 

"Alaska," Samantha said, startling me, "you look amazing."

 

I flushed and looked down at the black heels I planned to wear today.

 

"Your parents would be so proud of you, you know." She said softly, zipping up the back of my dress and smiling at me in the mirror.

 

"I know. Thank you," I smiled.

 

"Don't take too long or we'll be late," She said walking towards the door, "Oh and Happy birthday,"

 

I nodded and smiled to myself as I heard her footsteps go down the stairs. I did some touching up  on my make up and I stood in front of the mirror staring at myself. My long black hair fell down in waves around my heart shaped face. My dark eyebrows and winged eyeliner were a contrast against my brown skin tone. The black dress hugged my body in all the right places and I smiled at myself in the mirror, content with my appearance. I grabbed my bag and headed down the stairs greeting my aunt in the kitchen.  I took a deep breath and set my bag down on the counter.

 

"You okay?" My tia asked. (Tia is aunt in Spanish, my mom was Hispanic)

 

"Its my first birthday without them," I said, talking about my parents. Samantha wiped her hands on her apron and looked at me sympathetically.

 

"Alaska...I'm -"

 

"No," I said cutting her off, "It's my first birthday with out them, but I feel fine. Is it bad that I'm sort of okay? Is it disrespectful for me to enjoy a life without them?"

 

She smiled, "Emotions just come naturally. You shouldn't ever feel bad for what you feel."

 

"I - I feel good, but at the same time I feel like I should still be mourning them."

 

"Everyone handles pain differently. Theres no right or wrong way to miss someone," Samantha said, brushing a piece of hair behind my ear.

 

"I don't want to be sad anymore, Tia. I'm finally okay again," I said choking back a sob.

 

"I'm proud of you," She says, a tear slipping past her eye.

 

"For what?" I asked.

 

"For being brave."

 

———

Tova came and got me to take me to a birthday breakfast with our two other friends Camila and Lauren. Camila was tall and skinny with a really loud laugh and Lauren was thicker and quiet and very intimidating. Her smoky eyes always lingered on Camila for too long, but Tova and I never said anything about it. I thought they would make an adorable couple, because when Lauren wasn't looking Camilas gaze lingered on her too.

 

We got to school late, missing homeroom so Camila and I ran to Chemistry just in time so we wouldn't be late.

 

"Welcome to class everyone. Today we'll be doing our first lab. I already chose your partners at random so I'll start calling names. Johnson/Wilkonson, Mendes/Cabello, Rivera/Gilinsky..."

 

"What?" I said in disbelief.

 

"Oh, and a very Happy Birthday to you Ms. Rivera!" Mr. Boggs smiled at me. I flushed and gathered my stuff to walk to the lab.

 

"Hey Ace," Jack said, coming up behind me, eating gummy worms, "You didn't tell me it was your birthday?"

 

"I didn't know I had to," I retorted, entering the lab and finding a station to work at.

 

"Well, of course! So I can get you a present."

 

I laughed, taking out everything we needed for the lab, "but, we're not even friends?"

 

His face fell for a moment but he quickly recovered and I pretended I didn't notice, "That's harsh, Ace. I figured our reoccurring debates, and many dates to Albertos for lunch meant we were."

 

"Okay, first of all: we don't have debates. We just fight all the time over everything and its annoying. Second: We don't go to Albertos alone, so it wasn't a date. And third: I wouldn't go on a date with

you."

 

He licked his lips, and spun around on the stool seeming to ignore that I was speaking.

 

"Well, I guess this is your present," He smirked.

 

"What is?" I asked, putting on my glasses and throwing Jack a pair waiting for Mr. Boggs to tell us what to do.

 

"Being your partner?" He said like it was obvious.

 

"The partners were chosen at random?" I laughed.

 

"Correct, but I could tell Mr. Boggs that I don't want to be your partner and I couldn't have a threesome partner with Cassie and Destiny over there leaving you alone."

 

"You're an ass," I laughed, lowering my voice as the teacher came in. Mr. Boggs explained to us the whole lab and I patiently listened while Jack was chatting with the other Jack and this boy Sam about why Super Mario Brothers is the greatest game of all time.

 

"Once Mr. Boggs finished I set everything up and started filling the beaker with water.

 

"Jack?" I called, "Hello, Jack! Will you come help me with this now?"

 

He eyed me for a moment and then laughed like that was the funniest thing in the world. I rolled my eyes and added substances to the water and writing down my observations.

Jack sat on the counter with his feet on the stool trying to catch Gummy Bears in his mouth. I rolled my eyes and continued trying to do the lab. I bit my lip when I realized how hard this lab was. Science and Math? This was torture.

 

"Why are you wearing that?" Jack asked suddenly, catching Sams and Jack J's attention since their lab was next to ours.

 

I rolled my eyes with out looking at him, "because I can."

 

"I'm just saying, you're trying too hard. You don't need all the ridiculous make up, and slutty clothes to get guys to notice you," he said popping another gummy in his huge mouth.

 

I scoffed and set my pencil down, "Are you serious right now? First of all: I'm not 'trying' to do anything. I wear this make up because I like it. It makes me feel good and confident. Second: I wore this dress because its pretty and I like it. Calling me a 'slut' for wearing clothes I feel comfortable in is very insulting. Also, calling a girl a slut on her clothing choices promotes rape culture and enforces the idea that men can rape girls based on her clothing choices which is bullshit. And C: I wear what I want for myself not for anyone else, especially you."

 

"Ohhh shit!" Sammy said giving me a high five, "roasted!"

 

Jack looked dumb founded and he gulped and told the two boys to shut up before he knocked their teeth out. I tried to finish the lab alone, proud of myself for standing up to him but also felt stupid because it was so hard. I pushed away the insecure thoughts because I wouldn't let him or any one else make me feel like I am less than they are.

 

"You need to pour it slower," Jack said, interrupting me from my thoughts.

 

"What're you doing here? I can do this alone. Go help Sammy and Johnson."

 

"I already did and we made it explode and Johnson took Sammy to the nurse," He said, and I tried really hard not to smile, "if you pour it too fast, it will overflow and explode and stink up the room. Can't you smell their failed experiment? It smells like wet dog."

 

I narrowed my eyes, "Thanks."

 

"Sure," He said, eating more Gummy worms. He offered me some but I said no, He kept watching me, but he didn't say anything until I was in the middle of my last equation, "Alaska?"

 

"Hmm?" I said, grabbing my calculator.

 

"I'm like, sorry or whatever for what I said."

 

I stood up and folded my arms, "' _Like, sorry. Or whatever.'_ " I said imitating him. I put my worksheet on the teachers table and went back to the lab as he followed behind me.

 

"NO! Yes, I mean yes. I'm sorry. Your eyeliner and stuff actually looks really good,"

 

I smiled and took off my goggles I was wearing for the lab, "Is the Jack GIlinsky actually apologizing?" I said, in a mock tone raising my eyebrow.

 

"Make sure to clean out your beakers everyone," Mr. boggs said.

 

"Well yes," Jack started after the teacher stopped talking, "mostly because I feel bad cause it's your birthday and I hoping you would put my name on the assignment so I could get a grade for it."

 

"Okay," I laughed handing him the beaker to rinse out, "So, apology accepted. I did put your name on the assignment, but you're still an ass, and I want a new partner."

 

"C'mon Ace," He whined.

 

"Sorry, partner,"

 

"Pllleeeeeeaaaasssseeee, I hoped we could be like friends or whatever."

 

I smiled, "Well, you know what they say about hope. It breeds eternal misery."

 

Jacks eyes went wide and he tripped and the next thing I knew my entire dress was soaked in water.

 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" I yelled.

 

"Whats going on?" Mr. Boggs asked.

 

"What did you just say?" He asked me.

 

"Jack! You idiot!" I yelled, and soon the whole class was looking at us.

 

"What the hell did you just say!" He asked, more aggressively, "the thing about hope? Where did you hear that from?"

 

"Glinsky, Rivera, whats going on?" The teacher said, approaching us.

 

"Jack is an IDIOT and spilled water all over me,"

 

"Alright, Rivera go back to class. I'll give you a pass to go home and change,"

 

I scoffed and stormed out of the room as the bell rang. I made my way back to the class room to get my back pack and I walked up to the teacher ignoring Jack as he came in the room.

 

"I need a new lab partner," I said firmly.

 

Mr. Boggs sighed, taking off his glasses, "There are no other students to partner you with Ms. Rivera,"

 

"Are you serious? I could trade with anyone. C'mon Jack is rude and lazy and he could work very well with any other student. Jack and I are too different."

 

"That's why I partnered you two up. You cancel each other out. The things you're great in Jack needs help with and vice versa. You could help each other, and Jack is very good when he applies himself. He just needs a little push, someone to motivate him. Can you two just please work it out?"

 

I sighed, "Whatever," and waited for him to write me a pass so I could leave. I started walking out when I heard Jacks voice.

 

"Andrew! I need a new partner immediately! Alaska is a rude, annoying, rude, stuck-up-know-it-all bitch, and frankly I will not stand for it. I absolutely cannot work with her!" Jack said, mocking me.

 

"But Mr. Gilinsky you-" Mr. Boggs started but I couldn't hear the rest because the late bell rang above their voices.

 

"Hey!" I said, grabbing Jacks arm as he walked out, "Who the hell do you think you are?"

 

Jack smiled, and took a step closer to me, inches from my face so I could feel his hot breath on my ear, "Who do you think I am?"

 

I opened my mouth to argue with him, but I couldn't think of anything to say. I looked up into his eyes and he shook his head and bumped past me, whistling all the way down the hall way leaving me all alone.

 

I texted Tova and walked quickly to the locker room to get dressed for PE, and Tova told me she had her hair dryer and we could fix my dress after class.

Everyone in PE said Happy Birthday to me, and a bunch of people sent roses, but my PE teacher said she would keep them until after class.

All I could think about was what Jack had said. What did I think of Jack? He was rude, arrogant, and annoying. But he was also smart, funny, and I always see him helping the special ed kids with their homework after school. But what did I really know about him? I tried to focus on the black lines of the gym floor as I ran back and forth playing basketball but the dark lines reminded me of Jacks not so subtle shadow gaze and how my whole body heated with fire when I caught him looking at me. I mentally slapped myself and took an extra cold shower when I got back to the locker room. I quickly redid my hair and make up as Tova fixed my dress and we met at her car for lunch.

 

"Hey, guys," I said, approaching Camila, and Tova, "Wheres Lauren?"

 

"Shes not coming," Camila said softly.

 

"What happened?" Tova asked, and I gave Camila a puzzled look. The two were inseparable. Tova and I even started calling them 'Camren'.

 

"We got in a fight," Camila started to sob.

 

I pulled the small girl into a hug, "about what?" I asked, stroking her back and she shrugged.

 

"It'll be okay," Tova assured her.

 

"No," Camila sniffed, "it was....bad."

 

Tova and I exchanged worried glances. We were pretty sure Camila had feelings for Lauren, and sometimes we hinted about it but Camila always brushed it off. I wondered if this had to do with it.

 

"You guys are best friends, Mila. Best friends always fight, but you'll make-up," I said and Tova nodded.

 

"I don't think so. She was," Camila laughed dryly, "Really mad."

 

I debated silently on what to say, because she seemed really upset.

 

"You know what?" Tova finally said, "lets just go to Brads as planned, and we can blow off third and go shopping to get something to wear tomorrow night!"

 

"Whats tomorrow night?" I asked.

 

"We're just doing a little something for your b-day," She smiled.

 

"Guys, I told you not to do anything." I blushed.

 

"Oh come on," Camila laughed, "you're like the most popular girl in school. EVERYONE asked about your party. Everybody loves you,"

 

I blushed again and pulled my two best friends into a hug, "I love you guys."

 

"Alright, enough of that. No tears. I'm going to make sure you have the best 18th birthday ever. Lets go!"

 

We all went to my favorite place to eat (Brads). Jack was there but I ignored him and he seemed really pissed off. After we ate Tova got me a chocolate shake and we went downtown to look for hot out

fits to wear. Camila seemed like she was feeling better but we could tell something was really bothering her.

 

"Camila?" I asked as we sat down at a table at this little coffee shop next to the boutique we like.

 

"What?"

 

"Are you okay? You never really told us what happened in your and Laurs fight,"

 

"You can tell us anything, you know? We would never judge you. We love you. We're here for you," Tova said.

 

"Yeah, you can talk to us, Mila its okay," I smiled and she blushed.

 

"I know. I just...I'm not ready to talk about it, okay?" Camila said, and I squeezed her hand.

 

"Of course. We understand," Tova smiled.

 

We made it back to the school in record time rushing to fourth period so we wouldn't be late. Still, I walked into math just as the bell rang and Mrs. Green smiled at me.

 

"Nice of you to join us, Miss Rivera. Have a seat please. Oh and Happy Birthday,"

 

I smiled and took a seat in the back next to Lauren as a few more people said Happy Birthday to me. Jack looked at me from across the room but he didn't say anything.

 

"Hey, Laur. Whats with you and Mila?" I asked as Mrs, Green introduced the lesson.

 

"Camz?" Lauren asked, "what? What did she say?"

 

"Nothing she wouldn't tell us why you guys fought but she was clearly upset,"

 

"When did this happen?" She asked.

 

"At my birthday lunch. That you didn't attend may I add,"

 

"I'm really sorry I was a crying mess. I couldn't face anyone, but your present is in my car."

 

"Oh its fine," I assured her that I was just teasing.

 

"I can still come to your party right?" She asked.

 

"What? Of course I would be pissed if you didn't come. Why would you ask that?"

 

"Well, you're like the most popular person in the school right now, above Jack. You could pretty much get away with anything." She tells me, and I laugh.

 

"Jauregui. Pay attention, please," The math teacher scolded Lauren.

 

"Sorry," Lauren said, and I stifled a laugh. And she was _right._ After the lesson, Mrs. Green told us to get in groups of three, and so many people came over to my table asking for help, and all I could feel was a sense of power like I had the school at my fingertips.

 

"Hey  you pussies. Get out of here," Jacks deep voice came out of nowhere, and the other kids scurried away.

 

"Jack!" I scolded him,  "that was so rude, not to mention offensive."

 

He rolled his eyes and sat on the chair with his stomach against the back of it. He nodded at Lauren, and threw a gummy worm at mine and her desks.

 

"Thanks," I said quietly. Even though he annoyed me, he had his moments. He dangled a gummy worm right above his mouth and he dropped it in and then he smiled like he had just won an Olympic Gold Medal. I was fascinated but how big his mouth was when he unhinged his jaw to eat his candy.

 

"I don't get this," Lauren said finally breaking me out of my thoughts, when someone knocked on the classroom door,  "Do you get this?" She asked Jack but her voice seemed to fade away like someone turned down the volume.

 

Mr. Mahoney walked in and I could feel my heart racing. My breathing accelerated and I held on the desk so tightly the skin was appearing white.

 

"Alaska," Laurens voice echoed somewhere in my head, but my thoughts were focused on Mr. Mahoney and what he was doing here. The last time he came to see me was to tell me that my parents were dead.

 

Oh no. What happened? Why is he here? Did something bad happen? I could feel my chest starting to tighten and my head was getting dizzy. I felt like I had blown up to many balloons and their was no air left in me except some that ran to my head. I could feel my body start to get heavy, and then all I saw was the ceiling, and then nothing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
